Chapter Seven - Hello World

This one has been a year in the making. You can find the beginning of this story here.

The closest I had ever come to a delivery room was seeing one on television. Those were usually occupied by a she-devil of a woman who is constantly blaming her significant other for putting her in such an awful situation. There are usually doctors running around and people yelling "STAT" and whatnot, and there is usually someone who faints.

Well, on this night I found myself in a delivery room and it was nothing like those on TV. It was just me, my wife, and our nurse Krista. My wife was nowhere near a she-devil. She was pretty well composed.1 I'm not one to get thrown off my game. I'm generally ready to take charge of whatever situation I find myself in, but I was admittedly at a loss.

We pushed, and by "we", I mean Kim pushed and I sat beside her counting, for less than thirty minutes. Krista coached us through it and with the baby practically finished being born, a doctor, whom we had never met, showed up to take all the glory. After the doctor's arrival, Kim pushed once more and our baby was born.

We had decided to wait to find out what gender our baby was until it was born. So, it was at this moment that we found out that we had a son. We had not decided completely on a name. We thought we were going to have another month to nail that down. We decided to go with the one we had come up with months beforehand.

Palmer Hayes Smith was born at 4:12 AM on June 2, 2007. A whole month early, he weighed 7 pounds 3 ounces, and he was 19 inches long.

1. back She might tell you that she is not great at following directions, but on that night, she took her orders from Krista and carried them out to perfection.

Chapter Six - Counting from 1 to 10

So, here we are... Kim is laying on the hospital bed, I'm sort of in a daze, stuck between making inappropriate jokes and being in shock1, and Krista, the nurse, is pulling stuff out of drawers, and getting the room prepped for delivery.

At this point, it was pretty obvious that were indeed going to have the baby. I knew there were people that would be interested to know about this. So, I called Kim's parents to let them know, but only got voicemail. Then, I called my mom to let her know. She answered the phone2, and her response to the news was something like, "Shannon! What are you doing in Florida?!?"3 I explained our situation to her, and she said she would call my sisters and let them know.

About the same time I was getting off the phone with my mom, the nurse firmly, yet politely, requested that I take my place by my wife's side, as we were about to start delivering the baby. Wait a minute. How are we going to deliver the baby without the doctor?

Krista directed Kim on what to do. She was to hold her legs with her hands, and to put her chin to her chest. Whenever a contraction came, I was to count from one to ten. While I counted, Kim was to take a deep breath, hold it, and "bear down". We would do this three times for every contraction.

Okay. Here we go. 1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8...9...10

1. back At some point, I asked the nurse if I should put on my shoes. This may sound funny, but anyone that knows me, knows that if the temperature is above 60°, nine times out of ten, I'm going to have on sandals. When we left the hotel room, I had picked up my shoes. Having not taken part in the delivery of a baby, I wasn't sure if you had to wear shoes or not. I mean, it seems like a closed-toe event. The nurse, after laughing at me, said I didn't need to put them on.


2. back Don't ask me why my mother was up at three-something in the morning. I guess you could argue that the phone woke her up, but really who knows. She worked third shift for a good part of my younger years. She may be a vampire.


3. back Her reaction made me think for a minute. I couldn't remember if I had told her I was going out of town or not. There was a time in my life that she would have rather not known when I was out driving all over God's creation. In college there were seveal spur of the moment trips from Raleigh to Boone, one trip from Raleigh to New York, and a failed attempt to cross the country by car. For her it was easier to not know that I was driving in the middle of the night.

Chapter Five

"You're gonna have this baby in the next two to six hours," says the hospital worker person as they exit our cubicle with a curtain, I mean... room. Kim and I look at each other in utter disbelief. I mean, sure, the doctor told us on Wednesday that she would recommend us not traveling1. So, we knew there was a chance, but we never thought it would actually happen. We thought, "We've had a textbook pregnancy. We're not monitoring any delicate situations. Most first pregnancies go over the due date2. What's the worst that can happen? If we go down there, and we have the baby. It's no big deal."

Like I said, that's what we thought. That's what we thought and said on Wednesday as we left the doctor's office. Now, it was two and a half days later, and we were about six hundred miles removed from that doctor, Rex Hospital, our house, and everything that we had planned on. Our thoughts were a little different at that moment.

At this point, they moved Kim and I to the "laboring" room. Really they just moved Kim, and I followed along, sort of like a lost puppy. When we get to room 202, we meet a few nurses and Dr. Rosenburg3. Dr. Rosenburg was a nice lady. She asked a few questions and was probably disappointed to find that we didn't have any medical records with us. Our lack of records4, led to the decision for them to take several vials of blood from Kim to run some tests. The nurse, Krista, got to work on drawing the blood for the labs, and the doctor informed us that she had to go do a C-section, and that she would be back in about an hour to take care us us.

While drawing Kim's blood, Krista asked if she wanted any pain medicine, or an epidural. Kim's response to the epidural was, "Sure. I had always planned to get one."5 Krista called someone to let them know that Kim wanted an epidural, only to find out that the same chick that had stolen our doctor had also stolen the anesthesiologist. The person on the other end let us know that it would be 30-45 minutes before they would be in to give her one. To this Kim responded calmly, "Okay. I'll just work through the contractions until then." Stud.

So, Krista finished up with what seemed like bloodletting, and as she got ready to exit the room, she and Kim had the following conversation.

"If you feel like you have to have a bowel movement, you need to let me know."6
"I kind of feel like that now."
"Really?!?"
"Yeah."
"Let me check your cervix again." [Checks Cervix] "You're complete!"7

At this, the nurse gets on the horn and calls for reinforcements. Then, she starts running around like a chicken with its head cut off.

Now, I am not a smart man, but I put together a few things and quickly came to the realization that the nurse was not interested in helping Kim to the bathroom. The felt need to push had nothing to do with dropping any kids off at any pool, it meant there was a kid that wanted to come into the world.

1. back "You never know," she had said. "Things can happen. My sister had her baby at thirty-six weeks."


2. back I have heard Kim say this several times, but I have never read anything about it, but I figure she knows more than I do about this type of thing.


3. back We had been told that Dr. Rosenburg would be taking care us while we were in triage. Someone explained that she was the doctor assigned to those people who show up and don't have a doctor. I wondered how many people come to the hospital, aside from those people that are hundreds of miles from home, and do not have a doctor. Later we would find out that at least two people came to TMH that night without one.


4. back Kim had asked the doctor back in Raleigh if we should get a copy of her records to take just in case, but she, the doctor, had said "No."


5. back It was just that flippant, not "OH MY GOD! YES! GIVE IT TO ME NOW!". She was late in her labor, at least 7cm dialated, and she is like "Sure." My wife is a stud.


6. back I honestly thought that she didn't want Kim going walking over to the bathroom by herself, and if Kim had to drop the kids off at the pool, she wanted to make sure someone was there to help her get to the toilet. I was wrong.


7. back Complete in Baby Having terms means the cervix is 100% effaced and dialated 10 cm.

Chapter Four - This was not in the infomercial

Whilst traveling through the hallways of the hospital, I continued in my attempt to time Kim's "contractions", both the time between them and the time that they were lasting. Not being one to wear a watch, I had to resort to another mechanism. The iPod, though carried by many, it is not known for time keeping abilities1, but it was all I had. I have to admit that I was doing a pretty lousy job at recording our data, but to my defense, everything was happening pretty fast, including the contractions. At this point Kim was having a contraction about every threem minutes or so, and they were lasting somewhere around fifty seconds to a minute2.

Our journey through the inards of Tallahassee Memorial took us to meet a nice young lady named Alicia. Alicia helped us get checked into labor and delivery. There were a few papers that we had to fill out and forms we had to sign. It ws a bit of a special case because we were out of towners. She was a super nice lady, and found it funny that I wanted to take her picture. I kept making Kim laugh, and Alicia said if I could keep that up, that it would be good for Kim. Obviously, I didn't find that very difficult to do.

After a very short wait, we were called into triage. I wheeled Kim into the triage area, where we were directed to have Kim change out of her clothes and into a hospital gown. Once we accomplished this task, we were to go into the room next door where we would be seen by a nurse. We got Kim all changed, and we made our way to the room, and Kim laid down on the bed.

Soon after, we were visited by a nurse. She lt us know that she was going to be putting two monitors on Kim; one to monitor contractions, and one to monitor the baby's heart rate. After working through a bit of trouble getting the monitor to stay where she wanted it, the nurse informed us that what Kim was feeling were indeed contractions3. Upon verifying that Kim was in labor, the nurse decided that it may be a good idea to check Kim out to see how far along she was. A second hospital worker person, maybe a NP came in to examine Kim. After examining her, I think her first word was "Wow."

It is worth mentioning that I paid pretty close attention in the Preparing for Childbirth class, and having a pregnant wife, you sort of pick up on baby/pregnancy/labor lingo and jargon. So, when the examiner followed up her "Wow." with "You are 7 cm dialated."4 I couldn't help but laugh.

My first words were, "This is not how it happened in the video."

1. back There was a time when I was unsure why Apple had decided to include a stopwatch as an "extra", but I guess they knew that some day some random dude might need to use it to time his wife's contractions, or more likely, someone would need to time an a Sumo wrestler doing a shuttle run.


2. back I couldn't, and still can't, remember what the length of the contraction was supposed to tell me, but I felt like it was something I was supposed to know. Yet, another reason I should have found the Preparing for Child Birth book.
   NOTE: We still have not found the book. I'm begining to believe that a leprachaun stole it, or maybe a knome. I hear they are very sneaky.


3. back My deer-in-headlights look may have shifted towards the-kid-who-can't-find-his-mom-in-the-mall look at this point.


4. back For those not in the know, dialation only goes up to 10 cm, and it usually takes women, especially on their first baby, a long time to get to 7cm, we're talking like 8 hours, not 1 hour.

Chapter Three - From Hotel Room to Hospital Room

Kim's discussion with the doctor established that her water had most likely broken, and that we should make our way to the nearest hospital in a swift, yet smooth manner. He didn't say it, but I think he meant like gazelles gracefully galloping across the serene savannas of Sub-Saharan Africa. He also added that we would want to find out if that hospital delivered babies. Did he think we would be asking about the other services they provided?

We decided that it would be good for someone to know that we had left to go to the hospital, but we were unsure whom we should tell. At this point, we were not sure if we were going to have the baby or if it was going to be your typical trip to the hospital in the middle of the night with a pregnant lady. We decided not to wake the bride from her beauty sleep on the night before her wedding, and Kim's parents were at an RV resort several miles away. So, we/I decided to call Kim's brother, Kevin. We had our nephew's booster seat in our room, and they would need it if they decided to go anywhere. So, the call served two purposes. He came out to meet us, and wished us luck as we headed off to the unknown.

The hospital was not very far away, maybe four point three miles, or so. I had been timing contractions1 since Kim got off the phone with the doctor. The first few came about five minutes apart, which according to our Preparing for Child Birth class means it is time to get to the hospital. The short drive to the hospital took enough time for about four contractions. They were coming anywhere from three to four minutes apart at this point, and the stoplights weren't helping.

So, we roll up in the Emergency Room at about 1:45 AM, an hour after Kim woke up "leaking". As we walk in, the young guy at the desk, who was on his cell phone, probably spittin' game to his lady, says something like, "Oh. Hold up. I've got to call you back." He asks Kim how far along she is, and upon her saying almost thirty-six weeks, he gives us this wide-eyed, you-can-not-be-here look, puts Kim in a wheelchair, and wheels us through some corridors to an unknown destination.

1. back It's probably worth noting that at this point Kim and I were not completely sure that what she was experiencing were contractions. See, we have never had a baby, and everything you hear about labor is how excruciating the pain is. You see women on TV sweating, screaming, cussing at their husbands, and such. That was what we were waiting for. Kim was just experiencing, in her words, "bad menstrual cramps, but nothing horrible."
   

Chapter Two - Google, where are you? I need you.

Kim had moved from the bed to the bathroom, and I was still in the bedroom developing my strategy for handling the situation. Kim's change in location had no effect on her newly found likeness to a faucet. I thought this might be a good time to call the doctor. So, I started searching through Kim's purse for the number to Capital Area OB-GYN, to no avail. It was not in there.1 I decided to call someone who might be able to get me the number I needed.

After getting voicemail the first time, I called Daniel for a second time, and he answered. I informed him of the situation, and he got me a number. It was the number to the practice, but did not help any. On the second try, Daniel came through like LeBron in game five of the Eastern Conference Finals. He was money. I called the answering service and had the on-call doctor paged.

I left the phone with Kim and headed for the front desk to acquire the location of the nearest hospital, just in case. Coincidentally, on our hour long drive across town through traffic earlier in the day had taken us right by a hospital. After confirming that the hospital was where I thought it was, I returned to our room to find Kim on the phone with the doctor.

1. back This is the point where I regretted not owning a laptop. How the heck am i supposed to get along in the world without assistance from my friend Google in my times of need?

Chapter One - Can someone please turn off the faucet?

Kim woke me from my remote still in hand, Baseball Tonight still on the TV, sweet slumber around 12:45 with the words "Honey, I think I am leaking?!?" I had sat down on the extra double bed in our hotel room just two hours earlier with the expectation of catching up on the days happenings around MLB. Somewhere between Web Gems and Touch 'Em All I lost consiousness. It had been a long day.

Friday had started in Savannah, Georgia. We spent Thursday night in a hotel room, splitting our drive to Tallahassee across two days. We arrived at Kristin and Don's house a little after noon. The rest of Friday was filled with a trip to Publix for sandwiches, some Guitar Hero, an hour drive through five o'clock traffic, a wedding rehearsal, and a rehearsal dinner. The Cropenbaker rehearsal dinner was held at A&J's Blues Cafe, where the music is loud, the service is slow, and the the cajun seasonings are applied liberally. Some might say the latter was a contributing factor in the events that followed.

Upon Kim's informing me of her hypothesis, I quick concurred based on the empirical evidence found in her wet pants and the wet bed. She was indeed leaking. After a quick call to God on the prayer hotline, where I asked for guidance and wisdom1, I got up off the bed and entered into what can best be described as a shell shocked, deer in headlights mode. At this point I really regretted not finding the book from the Preparing for Childbirth class, Kim and I took at Rex, before leaving home.

1. back The words I used may have been closer to "Oh God. Oh God. What do I do?!? Okay breathe. It's going to be okay."

Prelude

On Saturday, November 4, 2006, Kim and I found out that she was pregnant. This didn't come as a complete surprise as "we were not preventing it from happening." The next few days and weeks were filled with a variety of feelings. We told a handful of people of our news immediately, but decided to hold off on breaking the news to our families. With the holiday season quickly approaching, we thought it would be nice to tell our families when we were all together.

With both of our families living out of town, we would be hard pressed to find another excuse to bring everyone together to share our exciting news. So, we waited a bit longer than usual, until Christmas, to let them in on our little secret. Both families were elated by the announcement, and shocked that we had been able to keep it under wraps for so long. The news brought on tears of joy, huge smiles, and lots of hugs. Within all this joy and celebration, someone, after a little quick calendar math, realized that the time frame for our child's arrival coincided with another event in Kim's family.

Kim's sister Kristin got engaged to Don Cropenbaker on Sunday, November 5, 2006 at a Tampa Bay Buccaneer's football game. Kristin and Don decided on an early May wedding, but the place they wanted to hold their wedding was not available until early June. So, after we found out about our pregnancy, Kim's sister got engaged, and before we told them about our baby, Kristin and Don set their wedding date for June 2, exactly one month before our due date, July 2.

The first thirty-five weeks of Kim's pregnancy went by without much ado. Mommy's tummy grew, the baby's heartbeat was always strong, the ultrasound did not reveal any abnormalities. Everything was as expected. At our thirty-five week check-up, the nurse even told Kim that we were "boring". At this same appointment, we reminded the doctor that we were scheduled to leave for Tallahassee, Florida that weekend. The doctor said that she wouldn't tell us that we could not go to Florida. She recognized the importance of Kim being at her sisters wedding. Kim was the Matron of Honor. The doctor did say however, that she would suggest we not go.

We listened to her advice, but decided not to follow it. Having had no complications to that point in the pregnancy, Kim and I decided to take the risk, and go to the wedding. So, on Thursday May 31, Kim and I packed up the Escape and headed down I-95 South toward I-10 and Tallahassee, Florida.